Now I can finally express myself and be me.

Ever since I can remember, I have struggled with self-acceptance, partly because of my gender identity and sexuality. I used to be afraid to really stand up for myself or tell others how I felt. This was largely because I had feelings that I didn't understand. 


It wasn't until I was about 11 years old that I met a trans-woman. She worked at the supermarket in my neighborhood. Through her, I was able to place what I was actually feeling and that this was not weird. When I was 16, I found out that I didn't feel at home in the body I was born in. I am now 21 and have been on testosterone for two years and had my top surgery three months ago. My life has completely changed in the past two years from someone who used to hide away, to someone who spreads his wings and is allowed to be there.


Now I can finally express myself and be me. I identify as non-binary and queer. I often sense from other people's reactions that there is not yet much acceptance for it. People often don't know exactly what it means and how to deal with it. As soon as people know that I have transitioned, but still not identify as male or female, they sometimes get upset about it. They often don't know what to make of it and how to react to it. But they could just ask.


Since a few months, I have had two large scars on my chest. This shows how hard I had to fight for who I am and the body that suits me. The beauty of imperfection, the scars that are on my body, are in fact beautiful.